Hell for me



If I believed in hell, rather than a one-size fits all fire-and-brimstone, I expect it would be customized to the individual.

Starting my day with inadequate rest, I’d have a breakfast of unspiced, plain-old eggs before heading out to the dentist where I’d find a parking lot reminiscent of the East Avenue Wegmans lot. After getting some cavities ground and filled, I’d head off to work for yet another day of fixing squirrelly memory issues with GDB.

The MBA in charge of the office would refuse to spend money on software tools when, with a complete lack of software experience on his part, he would have no idea of the differences in tools and thus have no concept of why I’d want better or alternate tools to help with the brain-bending work. All of this would take place in a dimly fluorescently-lit cube farm, natural light not even visible when prairie-dogging, working on a machine with an undersize, squishy keyboard.

On my half-hour lunch break, I’d have 10 minutes to eat the sour-kraut and generic-brand instant potatoes after accounting for the 10-minute walk from and 10-minute walk to my cube. The another 4 hours of memory allocation woes, now interrupted by various office talkers: conspiracy nuts spreading partisan propaganda and Qanon bullshit, anti-science dipshits chewing my ear about vaccines and anti-climate change propagandamoron stopping, and some moron flat earther who refuses to give it up even though he works in hell’s volcano department and has access to earth’s blueprints.

I’d find another round of misery waiting for in the form of gridlock, no matter which route I tried to drive home because the transit sucked even worse and bicycling wasn’t possible.

Back at home, there’d be absolutely nothing entertaining or stimulating on the tube, just more mush of true-crime shows and “reality” TV and a You-Tube algorithm that, even though there’s probably a whole bunch of good stuff, refuses to suggest anything other than the same set of stuff based on my first 4 queries way back when.

I’d finally give up and try to go to sleep, only to have frustration insomnia.

I don’t believe in such nonsense gods or devils, but I’m not sure that matters, because we’re doing a pretty good job of creating hell right here on earth.